i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Randomize