That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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