So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
