are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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