Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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