I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
