Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
