Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
