our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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