we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Randomize
