Your mouth is God's brothel.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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