Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
