see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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