I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
