I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Operation Purity has been aborted
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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