Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Success! We fucked roommates!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
