Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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