I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
