If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she told me i tasted like america
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
