They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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