; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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