maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize