he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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