a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
