you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
