you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
