Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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