i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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