Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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