He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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