Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
