I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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