I am full of burrito and curiosity
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
