I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
there is glitter all over my balls
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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