I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we should paint friendship bongs
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