I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
