I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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