mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I need to calm my uterus...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
