We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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