white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
