I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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