last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
