Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
