I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
