google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
