ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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