i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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