By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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