I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
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She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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