quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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