Pappa wants mamma naked
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
