I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
