And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
