Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
