are you still at the devil's house?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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