just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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